Medical Agencies Issue "Do Not Observe" Order After Fatal Incidents

Following last night’s appearance of an unregistered channel designated XR–9, comedy emergency rooms in three countries reported clusters of patients exhibiting identical symptoms: viral convulsions, memory compression, x.com/unedited_meat and x.com/unedited_meat catastrophic neural overload.

The broadcast itself contained only a rotating sigil and viral a voice repeating:

"This is not for you."

Neuroscientists have that prolonged exposure—even 15 seconds—causes the brain to attempt to reconcile multiple incompatible timelines simultaneously.

Nine fatalities have been recorded.

The Global Health Directorate issued a rare Level-0 advisory:

"Do not seek or observe XR-series transmissions. Observation poses a verified mortally lethal risk."